Alobar Greywalker (alobar) wrote in nolongerxian,
Alobar Greywalker

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I Thank Santa for Curing my Delusional Addiction to Christianity

        As a child, literal belief in Santa Claus was strongly encouraged by my parents, and the culture around me.    As I began to get a tad wiser, I realized it was a fairy tale, and nothing more.    But I ran into a strange phenomena.   Adults *wanted* me to keep believing in Santa.   I discovered that if I pretended to believe in Santa,  the holiday season went far more smoothly than if I dropped the pretense of belief.    So I played the game of feigning belief for a year or two to keep the adults happy.    Eventually, I got tired of the phoniness and pretense.   My parents and older relatives were disappointed, but accepted that I was "old enough" to see thru the myth.   Is seeing thru the Santa myth like getting drunk?   OK for adults, but not for children?

        In my late teens and early 20s, I had serious doubts about the Christian mythology.    But I kept my yap shut because any indication of non-belief really upset my relatives.

        It took me a few years, but I realized that being hypocritical was just not good for me.   I announced to my parents that I was no longer attending mass on Sundays, and no longer considered myself a Catholic or a Christian.   My parents were very upset.   My father wanted to know why I had left the Church.     I suspect he did not really want to hear my answer, but I was young and blunt, and not very tactful.   I was also resentful of pressure to return to being a devote Catholic.

        So I told him that I saw the Christian mythology as very much like the Santa mythology.   People make up stories to make them less afraid of the unknown.   Other people come along and find ways to make money off those who have literal belief in the mythology.   

        Christianity postulates an all-knowing omnipotent Deity who micromanages humanity, then judges them for being imperfect.  This God supposedly made people imperfect, so God was judging people and sending them to hell to eternal torment because he was not crafty enough to make perfect humans.    

        I told my father that all stories in the bible about God, God's laws, as well as the infallibility of the pope, and the importance of following all Church rules were just stories.   Some believed in them literally.   Others pretended to believe them so as to not upset those who believed in them.   And some (like me) dropped the pretense. 

        My father would not continue the conversation.   But at least he dropped the pressure for me to return to the Church, where he felt I belonged.

        I get along with some Christians.   The ones I get along with have faith in "the Christian experience" but not a literal belief in God or Church.    I could not do that.   For me, it would be hypocritical.    I do not fault them.   We each have our own internal guidance system which differs from others around us.
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