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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in No Longer Xian's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, June 13th, 2007
1:51 am
Happy Anniversary?
I don't know if divorced people go through this or not, but it seems like the anniversary of your marriage to your ex-spouse would be an awkward, if not exactly painful, thing to endure annually, at least till healing set in. I'm going through something a bit like that now, with respect to my former faith.

Yesterday (Tuesday) was the 30th anniversary of my baptism. In the Churches of Christ, baptism (by immersion) is a Big Deal, because the CoC believes you can't be saved without it. It is at the point of baptism that you become a christian, and since you are also "born again" at this point, it's sort of your spiritual birthday, as it were. In any case, it's not an event you easily forget. so, with a shudder at the rapid passage of time, I contemplated the fact that the earth has gone around the sun exactly thirty times since I went before a small congregation of the Church of Christ in Simi Valley, California, affirmed my belief that Jesus was the son of God, and got dunked in front of 50 people.

Well, beliefs can change, and mine certainly have, but the past can't be re-written. June 12 will always be the anniversary of my baptism. And I just can't express how awkward it feels that an event that meant so much to me at the time, now means absolutely nothing. Less than nothing, because what it really was, was my pledging my allegiance to the biggest and most successful con job in history.

It's hard to describe what I feel, when I think about it. I'm not bitter; I moved past that stage of my separation from the Christian faith years ago. Becoming a Xian was something that met emotional needs that I had at the time and provided a social circle that was definitely more secure, if less educational, then the rowdy high-schoolers I'd have been hanging with otherwise. Still--it all seems so stupid now. God, Jesus, heaven and hell, the Bible, getting "saved", trying to get others "saved", going to church three times a week, worrying about sin and how good or bad a Christian I was. All for nothing. All the prayers I prayed, the hymns I sang, the communion I took, the Bible I read, the heaven I looked forward to--not to mention the money I put in the collection plate every week.
Deception and delusion, all of it.

Bitter? No, I guess I'm just a bit sad. I guess I still grieve somewhat for the world I wanted to be real, the world in which evil is ultimately defeated and good triumphs, the one where death isn't the end and all your hopes and dreams eventually come true, if only you believe. That world.
And I DID believe in it, just as fervently as a three-year-old believes in Santa Claus. And I guess maybe that's why I am angry, just a bit. I'm angry that people still believe, believe because they NEED to believe, because they know what the consequences are if the atheists are right and they're wrong. Kids aren't devastated when they find out the truth about Santa or the Easter Bunny. What the hell's wrong with us grown-ups?

Thirty years. Twenty of which I spent in vanity and pride (there's irony for ya :)). Now all I want is to forget. But the past can't be re-written. June 12 will always be the anniversary of my baptism. But now I think of it as a mental death, rather than a spiritual birth. And the epitaph reads "Beware of Dogma."

Current Mood: morose
Sunday, May 27th, 2007
5:30 am
Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
        Below from Grackle list.


10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

Read more...Collapse )

Thursday, May 17th, 2007
5:23 pm
Hong Kong Could Ban Bible for Indecency
        The priceless news item came to me by way of the Grackle list. URL at end.


Bible Obscenity under Fire in Hong Kong
by Theresa Reed (Darklady)
Date: May 16, 2007 - 07:22 PM

HONG KONG -- Not for the first time has a reader of the Bible realized that large sections of its contents are not necessarily suitable for reading by the young or especially sensitive. In addition to its many violent passages aside, there’s sex in them thar pages, two things that have outraged moralists in sexual media saturated Hong Kong.

According to the Television and Entertainments Licensing Authority (Tela), 208 complains have been registered about allegedly indecent passages in the so-called Good Book.

Read more...Collapse )

Tuesday, May 15th, 2007
11:52 pm
Go toward the light, Jerry. ( It's a train.)
As I watched the news reports this morning, I tried to think of something good to say about Jerry Falwell, in the interests of not speaking ill of the dead and all that. Then, just as I was thinking "well, he wasn't a bad preacher, at least before he got into politics", CNN showed a clip from an interview he did with Christiane Amanpour, in which she brought up the "abortionists, lesbians and pagans" quote. She asked him if (in spite of his apology) he still believed that God let this happen because he is displeased with our way of life. He said something to the effect of "I still believe the Lord will withdraw his hand of protection from any nation whose people do things so displeasing to him."

_De mortuis nil nisi bonum_, my ass. Jerry, we're better off without you than with you. It will be hard to fill your shoes, and for the sake of our nation and our world, I hope nobody does. You did far more harm than good, and though I don't believe in hell, I'd like to think your god would at least give you a taste of it.

Yo, Jesus: you forgot Robertson.

Current Mood: Schadenfreude
Monday, April 9th, 2007
3:23 pm
This journal is getting cobwebby.  Time to do something about that.

OK, last week was Holy Week with its climactic event, Easter.  Christians, who can now smoke a cigarette, roll over and go to sleep till Advent, celebrated the resurrection of their Lord by eating chocolate and marshmallow animals and having ham for dinner (a parody of the Seder, btw--don't want anyone thinking we're part of *that* religion, no siree.)

I don't know.  For some reason I can get into the Christmas Spirit™ without too much trouble when that time of year rolls around, but this year Easter just bummed me out.  I'm not sure why.  Easter is, of course, a Christianized version of ancient fertility festivals, celebrating the "resurrection" of nature.  I could probably tie the Xian mythos in better if it weren't for all the Orphic stuff during the week-long runup. If we accept Jesus as an example of the dying-resurrected nature-god archetype, then everything from "One of you will betray me" to "It is finshed" goes better with fall and winter  Spring clashes with everything except the resurrection part.

(Of course, Christians will say that all this stuff Really Happened so it's not a myth and therefore needn't fit the pattern.  Uh-huh).

Does anyone else have mixed feelings about the Christian holidays?  My family was never religious but we always used to have family get-togetheres on Xmas and Easter, which I thought was kind of strange.  Do any of you "relapse" and attend church on those days, simply because you feel like you should?

Current Mood: calm
Tuesday, December 26th, 2006
1:32 pm
Early Questioning of Religious Beliefs
        Back when I was in college, I had not yet begun to seriously question my Catholic religious upbringing. I knew a Catholic gal who was very much into ecumenical services, bringing together people of different religions to worship together.   She had a close friend who was the daughter of the rabbi chaplain on campus. She took the Jewish friend to a catholic mass, and whispered to her during the mass, explaining what was going on.   She felt that if she got the rabbi's daughter interested in Eccumenicalism, maybe she could talk to her Dad about looking into the movement.

        All was fine, up until the Consecration of the Mass.  When she explained how consecration turned the bread & wine into "the Body and Blood of Christ", the Jewish gal started to get squeamish.   Then when the priest chomped down on the host, later in the mass, the Jewish gal burst out with "EEEWWWW!  He's eating his God!" and ran out of church.   

        I had never quite looked at it in quite that way before.   It never ceases to amaze me how much the obvious can be overlooked.   Childhood indoctrination really puts the blinders on.   I did not stop going to mass right away, but the events I outlined above stayed in my mind, and I began finding more and more reasons to question what I had been taught to accept without question.

Friday, December 1st, 2006
12:55 am
Incredible Documentary!
        I nipped this link from nebris.    It is a documentary on Christianity put together by an ex-Christian.   Lots of very important and persuasive facts.    If you have any relatives who keep trying to push literal belief in Christian mythology down your throat, sending them this link would be a fantastic Christmas gift for them.   Of course, they may not talk to you ever again, but that might not be such a bad thing, now would it?

        The movie loads real slow and stops a lot.    I hit pause and did chores in the kitchen for an hour, then the movie played just fine.    Very well put together.    Loads of hard facts.   Lots of interviews with both people who have literal belief, and with people who feel Christianity is a mythology no different than other mythologies.     Scary to me how many people have literal belief in Christianity.   Scarier still is their belief that everyone else is DOOMED.  

Saturday, November 25th, 2006
4:29 pm
I Thank Santa for Curing my Delusional Addiction to Christianity
        As a child, literal belief in Santa Claus was strongly encouraged by my parents, and the culture around me.    As I began to get a tad wiser, I realized it was a fairy tale, and nothing more.    But I ran into a strange phenomena.   Adults *wanted* me to keep believing in Santa.   I discovered that if I pretended to believe in Santa,  the holiday season went far more smoothly than if I dropped the pretense of belief.    So I played the game of feigning belief for a year or two to keep the adults happy.    Eventually, I got tired of the phoniness and pretense.   My parents and older relatives were disappointed, but accepted that I was "old enough" to see thru the myth.   Is seeing thru the Santa myth like getting drunk?   OK for adults, but not for children?

        In my late teens and early 20s, I had serious doubts about the Christian mythology.    But I kept my yap shut because any indication of non-belief really upset my relatives.

Read more...Collapse )
Tuesday, November 21st, 2006
10:47 pm
High School Student Stands Up to Christian Bigot Nutcase Teacher
        The student below is the same fellow who I wrote about in my LJ.  He is a very interesting person.


A history teacher at the local public high school [in Kearny, New Jersey] may have bitten off more than he cares to chew this fall. Self-described conservative Baptist David Paszkiewicz used his history class to proselytize biblical fundamentalism over the course of several days at the beginning of this school year.

Among his remarks in open class were statements that a being must have created the universe, that the Christian Bible is the word of God, and that dinosaurs were aboard Noah's ark. If you do not accept Jesus, he flatly proclaimed to his class, "you belong in hell." Referring to a Muslim student who had been mentioned by name, he lamented what he saw as her inevitable fate should she not convert. In an attempt to promote biblical creationism, he also dismissed evolution and the Big Bang as non-scientific, arguing by contrast that the Bible is supported by what he calls confirmed biblical prophecies.

Read more...Collapse )

Monday, October 2nd, 2006
12:36 am
        Below arrived by way of Grackle list. No URL given, so I have no idea if this is all substantiated or not.    nebris googled 10 of the names at random, and they all check out.


 "I think people are using (pedophilia) for political purposes."
 -- Sen. Rick Santorum, Republican

 Republican Congressman Mark Foley abruptly resigned from Congress after "sexually explicit" emails surfaced showing him flirting with a 16-year old boy. Add Foley to the list:

Republican executive Randall Casseday of the conservative Washington Times newspaper was arrested for soliciting sex from a 13-year old girl on the internet.

Republican chairman of the Oregon Christian Coalition Lou Beres confessed to molesting a 13-year old girl.

Republican County Constable Larry Dale Floyd was arrested on suspicion of soliciting sex with an 8-year old girl. Floyd has repeatedly won elections for Denton County, Texas, constable.

Republican judge Mark Pazuhanich pleaded no contest to fondling a 10-year old girl and was sentenced to 10 years probation.

Republican Party leader Bobby Stumbo was arrested for having sex with a 5-year old boy.

Republican petition drive manager Tom Randall pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 14, one of them the daughter of an associate in the petition business.

Republican County Chairman Armando Tebano was arrested for sexually molesting a 14-year-old girl.

Republican teacher and former city councilman John Collins pleaded guilty to sexually molesting 13 and 14 year old girls.

the list goes on, and on, and on ...Collapse )

Thursday, September 14th, 2006
6:22 pm
Fred Phelps Is At It Again!
        Below from a link sent to Grackle list. URL at end for the rest of the article.   The fact that the ACLU is helping Phelps is one more reason not to send in money helping the ACLU.   Sure, the ACLU does good things too, but down here in New Orleans, the ACLU is known for fucking things up in ways which makes it far more time consuming and expensive to overthrow bullshit laws.


By Judy Keen, USA TODAY
TOPEKA — Laws passed by Congress and 29 states to prevent Fred Phelps and his congregation from disrupting military funerals have not ended their protests or silenced their anti-gay message.

President Bush signed a law on Memorial Day banning protests within 300 feet of national cemeteries. Last month, he said it "ensures that families of fallen servicemembers will not have to endure protests during military funerals."

It hasn't worked out that way. Phelps' followers have picketed at 15 funerals in 13 states since Aug. 1. Ten of those states have passed laws meant to restrict the protests. Pickets even showed up Monday in Shanksville, Pa., for a 9/11 commemoration at the site where United Airlines Flight 93 crashed.

Phelps, a former civil rights lawyer who founded the unaffiliated church, says the laws are unconstitutional because they infringe on free speech. The American Civil Liberties Union is helping him challenge the laws in two states.

Phelps says he's enjoying the ruckus. "How in the world did we get this humble message from this humble little old nothing of a church to shake the whole country up?" he asks in a recent interview.

Phelps believes the deaths of U.S. troops in Iraq and Afghanistan and the 2001 terrorist attacks are an angry God's punishment for the country's tolerance of homosexuality. "This nation has ticked off the Almighty, and it's too late to repent," he says.


Monday, August 28th, 2006
5:26 pm
Ugh! Apologies, folks.
Well, on request, I made the community commentable by outsiders, on the premise that we could have some fun with the next Fundiot who came here to harass us.

Instead, we get some jackass posting around in a backpost and annoying members until I got a request to ban him. Which I did. Garbage deleted, and I've set all posts and comments back to members only.


Sorry about that!

Current Mood: annoyed
Tuesday, August 1st, 2006
9:03 pm
Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
        I nipped the text below from nebris.

Read more...Collapse )
Tuesday, July 18th, 2006
11:42 am
Beat 'em for Jesus!
        Below from Grackle list.


 The unhappy childhood of Dr. James Dobson

Guest Post by Morbo

Have you ever wondered why Dr. James Dobson of Focus on the Family is such a nutcase? Why is he so obsessed with the sex lives of people he doesn't even know? Why does he hate gay people so much? Why does he claim to love Jesus so much, and then behave in a vicious manner so unlike Christ?

A recent profile of Dobson sheds some light on these questions. As it turns out, Dobson's parents physically and mentally abused him as a child, and he once got beaten up in school by a kid even Dobson admits was widely acknowledged to be a "sissy."

Read more...Collapse )

Friday, June 30th, 2006
8:20 pm
Some retarded God site

Somebody posted this in a forum and here I was thinking (FOR SOME CRAZY REASON) that it was going to be a non-biased site of testimonials or something pertaining to a general Divine. (Which I do believe exists.)

The first button I clicked basically told me that I was automatically Christian for believing in a God O.o

THEN! THEN I got to a page tha--no wait. I'll spoil all the fun. GO TRY IT. It's the stupidest site I've ever been to. And there's not a hint of "proof" anywhere. (But you probably guessed that already.)

Actually, it's sort of entertaining. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!
Wednesday, April 19th, 2006
8:17 am
What do you guys think of the movie "The Ten Commandments"?

I was watching it (well parts of it) with my family for the first time since I denounced my Christianity and started actually researching religions, and I have to admit it's a beautiful, theatric piece...but it frightens me that some people put it on par with historic documentaries. Kind of like some did with the Titanic movie. *shudder*

For the first time ever, this movie really made me sad, and I felt so alone. I was like, "You poor Egyptians! Everybody thinks your awful tyrannic Satanists because of the way Hollywood portrayed you!! Your old gods are getting such backlash from a movie!!"

It was almost like somebody had come up to my face to tell me, "You're wrong! The old gods were only pieces of gold and marble! You are demonic filth who will never see the light." The part about this is if that had actually been the case, I don't feel any of my family would have supported me. I mean , I'm a storyteller myself, and when you want to make an interesting story out of real life, you HAVE to change it somehow to make it more powerful, so I understand...but...well...it worked O.o

Sorry this turned into a huge spiel, I'm just avoiding doing any work before school starts *snrrk*. And this is one of the first times I actually experienced pain for changing my religion, so all this stuff just came flooding out. I didn't think it could hurt to just stop being Christian if you chose it of your own free will without any tragedy to push it, but...well, I've been disproven, I guess!

I'm a white upper-mid-class female in a (supposedly) Christian family. I've NEVER been a minority before. This is hard to get used to. ;_;
Friday, February 17th, 2006
10:11 pm
HOMG. Thank Bob my mom is my mom.
I just watched Trading Spouses. It was kinda really cool, because one of the families they had was pagan. They had a Solstice ritual in the yard with all kinds of people...

But the other family was Christian. Which, the family was all right. But the mother, HOMG. She was sent to the Pagan household and bitched and screamed and rebuked and prayed the entire time. She only ever did what *she* wanted to do, and ended up dragging them all to church. I think they humored her just to shut her up.

We're talking rabid rabid rabid fundie. When she finally got home, she decided that her house had been tainted with "dark stuff", because of the Pagan mother just having been there.

The show concludes with each family getting $50k, and the other mother writes a letter telling how they would like the family to spend it. Rabid Fundie Mom took the letter and tore it up, because it was tainted. She refused to even read it. She refused to take the money. From the moment she got home until the show ended, she screamed at her family and at the film crew and at God...

I am so thankful my mom isn't like that.

x-posted from personal LJ

Current Mood: thankful
4:04 pm
An ARGGGGH from your Mod....
The anonytrolls haven't been trying anything here for a while. They're going absolutely bug-nuts attacking us over at Ex-Christian.net, which has driven me to not even log on for months. But they haven't hit again here.

Instead, the filthy bastards have been posting to MY Livejournal. Anonymously. I'm so glad I screen my comments.

The latest just popped up uninvited in response to my old rant (crossposted here) re my boss's Christmas-versus-holidays obsession. I'd just spent about a hundred lines bitching about the uninvited imposition of Christian bullshit in my life, and what does some passing Jesus freak do? Inject a bit more!

Remember Jesus loves you even if you don't love him!

I WISH these cowardly tits would at least have the courage to leave at least a real screenname, so that I can give them the new-asshole-tearing they so thoroughly deserve. GAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Jesus loves youuuuuu!" No, bitch, if Jesus were real and cared for me he would have said something when I begged him to back as a "true believer" kid. He's mortal, he's dead, and your god's a myth. Fuck OFF!

Current Mood: Triggered and pissed
Monday, December 19th, 2005
9:46 am
Urrrgh. *eyetwitch* "Merry CHRISTMAS!!!!!"
My boss is normally a fairly cool person. Now and again, however, she does something that drives me completely up the wall--just like any boss, really. My problem is, more often than not, the something she does involves a subtle, or not-so-subtle, push of her religion. I had to come out as Pagan before she would stop asking me if I wanted to go to church with her on Christmas Eve or Good Friday. She knows I'm pretty tolerant of other religions, and so I guess she doesn't really grok why her actions should be so troubling to me. Call it "well-intentioned obliviousness", I guess. Anyway, she's nowhere near as obnoxious as the Jesus Freak social worker I have spoken of before.

Not normally, anyway.

But Friday...ugh. I couldn't even write about it this weekend, since a family of drama llamas seems to be visiting my home for the holidays (help, they're eating my socks!) Now, though....

I knew something was up when some sort of argument erupted just down the hall between my boss and one of the case workers, a woman of Indian descent who seems to be one of the token non Christians in the office. The argument involved the phrase "happy holidays", and I sunk down in my seat. Oh ye gods, spare me this cliched melodrama in my own fucking office!

But it was not to be.

Next thing I know, she comes over, plops her ass in my cube's other chair, sighs in that way she does when she's confiding something, and then demands, "What in the heck is wrong with saying 'Merry Christmas' instead of happy holidays?!??"

Oh brother.

Feeling entirely put on the spot, I ventured that it isn't exactly a problem unless it was pushed on people. "I'm not pushing it on people! I just want to put 'Merry Christmas' on our holiday flyers instead of this wishy-washy PC 'Happy Holidays'!"


I reminded her that not everybody is celebrating Christmas per se, and that it is rude to exclude them. Her rationale: "Nobody is excluding them! It's just that the twenty-fifth is Christmas! That's what people are celebrating in America traditionally right now. December twenty-fifth, Christmas! It's traditional! Do you see me going down to Saudi Arabia and telling them to stop celebrating Ramadan because it's not inclusive? When foreigners come here from other countries, they shouldn't expect us to change our traditions!"

I opened my mouth to tell her that 1. Not everyone feeling left out is a "foreigner" (I'm not, my Jewish coworker sure isn't, etc.; we're as American as she is); 2. It's not going to peel the skin off her ass to use neutral language in a GOVERNMENT OFFICE BULLETIN, and 3. The whole conversation was inappropriate to be having at work.

But then, knowing I couldn't get through her blindness and naturally worried about the consequences of pissing off the boss, I relented. I didn't tell her it was OK, but I didn't correct her, either.

Gads, but I feel steamrollered. What the fuck WAS that? Who are all these crazy people who just can't handle the fact that Jesus is not in fact the reason for everyone's season? What the fuck is their problem?

I need a long shower just thinking about this. It is as if Christians in this country have gotten so bloody used to getting their way that the MOST INSIGNIFICANT attempt to get them to give up their cultural stranglehold and include others is seen as an attack. It's privilege, it's rotten to the core, and they don't even see how they're pushing others out by clinging to it.

And if we say anything, we're reduced to quibbling over minutiae ourselves. Getting slapped with the "PC" accusation particularly stung.

I swear, from now on, everyone is getting "Happy Yule!" from me.

Fuck Christmas.
Wednesday, November 30th, 2005
8:12 am
*inhales deeply*
So back in August, I created a Yahoo group for ex-members of the cult I grew up in. I sent an email to my family, hoping that if they were in touch with others that they'd get them to join, and pass the word along, and so on.

Only my parents joined. *lol* Since then, there has been zero activity.

This morning, I decided to make a post there about this whole freakout thing I had last week. Not mentioning the freakout, just explaining some stuff... Neither of my parents have Yahoo email, so the post will be delivered to their home email. *bites nails* I don't know what their reaction will be.

Anyway, the text of the post will be behind this cut, if you're interested...Collapse )

So, that's it. Hope they don't freak too badly...

X-posted to personal LJ

Current Mood: thoughtful
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